i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize