I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
