WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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