my mouth tastes like poor choices
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
