1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
