Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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