I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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