Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
