so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
