He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
