He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
