I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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