they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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