One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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