if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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