? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Can I color on your dick again?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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