do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
