If i could tip my vagina, i would.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
