Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Randomize
