i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
