Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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