I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
