I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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