there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
