I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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