i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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