i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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