How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
