brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
