So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
