this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
