I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
