Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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