There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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