he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize