I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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