he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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