Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
