Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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