Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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