covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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