i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
