Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
