I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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