Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
