this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
