sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
