i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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