If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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