No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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