You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
