Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I will die if light touches me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
