Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
