Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
