The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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