I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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