He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
